O le sedi laka!

Dear Child of mine

I am writing these sentiments in advance. Maybe, just maybe one day you will get to read it. If not, maybe those reading it will get to tell you about it one day.

You have showered my womb with a visit for the past 154 days and I am grateful. I am grateful for it as I have experienced the most terrible, painful, exasperating, frightening and gracious moments at once. I never knew anyone could boycott food for so long like I did with you. I also never knew that someone could feel this important for carrying another soul, another life within her, like I feel right now. You have changed my life! I no longer think for myself alone. Do you know that I worry when I skip several hours without eating anything because I know you are hungry?

I miss you! You have no idea how much I love you! And I worry when I do not feel you kicking. That has become the only sense of communication I have with you. Do you think of me like I think of you in everything that I do, little one? Do ever take time off from your naps to wonder what kind of a creature this belly belongs to? Do you ever wonder how I look like, like I do about you?

The doctors say you cannot yet think for yourself but I know that they are mistaken. I know your soul is much more mature than the body that is building up every day and therefore can use reason make sense of things seen and not seen. In that way then, you should know that you are my light, my sunshine. You have gave meaning to my life. Like the Soil, little one, I am begging you hore o mponisetse tsela ke tsamaye, hobane ha ole teng hake batle tsebo ya ntho tsotlhe.

Because of you, I have been initiated to a woman whose joy now lies in you. For that I will forever be indebted to you. I cannot promise you gold or treasures wrapped in glittering wrappers, but I can guarantee that I will always love you. I will offer you my love, which will be the only treasure I have. This love will shower you even when I am no longer there to guide you or to take care of you.

I cannot offer you protection from the heartless people who have lost souls, nor can I prevent you from receiving love from those souls who still have it. I also cannot protect you from the horrors which the people of this world have caused, nor can I prevent you from seeing this world for what it is. But I will give you the light which will forever guide you.

O le sedi laka! My light, my sunshine!  My hope and my endless dream for a better world.